A Friend Only Ever Wants to Talk On Her Topics: Is It Time to End the Friendship?

I have been close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome numerous hardships, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she's repeatedly taken by surprise by others. Her spouse walked away, and it was a huge shock. Many of her social circle drifted away at that point, because they seemed only interested in the spouse. This surprised her. She put in more effort to be my friend, likely understood more acutely the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

In the time since, many of her friends vanished without her being certain of the reason. Her last employer became hostile, even though she had been very skilled at her work, and she left without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Lately, both of us stepped back from work so we're spending frequent meetups, yet I realize the part I play in our friendship is to listen. I start discussion points but she shifts the talk toward what interests her. Regarding political views, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend factchecking or other angles.

She is arranging a holiday to a country I have traveled to repeatedly even called home for some time. My intention was to provide personal experiences, but this was not welcomed. She purely only wanted validation of her plans. I've just come back from 30 days in that place and she wants to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want in this role who cuts and runs without explanation, however, I feel she'll truly comprehend the effect of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. At this point, I find myself in avoidance mode. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

It's possible to end things abruptly, however, that approach is rarely a smooth outcome we imagine. Yet having a direct talk aiming for resolution takes courage and willingness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one requires explaining the usual pattern when you talk. It should be based on facts and essentially an unbiased account. Next is to tell her how it makes you feel. Ideally, there's no argument about this. Emotions are your feelings, after all. Finally is to ask ways you together can shift the interaction of your friendship."

Consider she too holds perspectives, thus requiring you to stay open to acknowledge it. One effective method is telling your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to not say anything for half an hour."

Key Takeaways

This person might reject all you say, as some people cling to a deep-seated story: they maintain a version about themselves they won't release as it feels essential relies on it and it's all familiar to them. It's tough because there's no thoroughfare with these people, just dead ends. However, she might initially present defensively before reflecting about what you've said. And should a resolution isn't found a fix, it will give you satisfaction knowing you were open and direct.